A wolfmans, a vampire, and a mummy walk into a bar. The bartender says “Hey buddy, why the long face?” And all three look puzzled. They ask the other patrons at the bar and it turns out the bartender is autistic. He helps to tend bar with his brother, who is currently in the bathroom. The autistic bartender won’t serve alcohol when his brother isn’t there, so the wolfmans starts getting antsy. Like, saying offensive things just a little too loud. The vampire and the mummy tell him to quiet down, because they need to make this bar a regular hangout joint because it’s the only place they can get to on their lunch break. Just then the bartender’s brother comes out of the bathroom and hears the wolfmans say something about “retard,” and angrily confronts the group. The wolfmans shuts up and apologizes right away, because the brother is a really big guy, and the vampire said he thought he recognized gang tattoos. They get their drinks, but the brother is giving them, like, a NASTY stink eye, so they clear out of there. The wolfmans decides to head home, cause he’s got work in the morning, and the mummy and the vampire drive to the next town over to check out this place who’s microbrew selection a guy at work was talking about. Later on, the mummy ends up hooking up with this asian chick with really thin eyebrows, so he gives the vampire his car keys and tells him see him tomorrow. The vampire needs a cigarette on the way home, so he pulls over to the shoulder and gets out because the mummy had told him he didn’t want that nasty ass smell all over his car. He lights his cigarette, but gets caught up listening to what sounds like a frog in the woods off the shoulder, or maybe an insect or something. He thinks that his life is too fucking loud. His cigarette burns down without him taking a drag, so he curses and throws it out. He suddenly gets angry, and starts ripping up all the cigarettes in the pack. It’s too much money anyway, he thinks. A car passes him on the road and he wonders if it’s the mummy and that Asian chick. He thinks about going back to apologize to that bartender and his brother, but doesn’t seriously consider it. He and the mummy can just get drunk at the Applebee’s on the first floor anyway. He has one last cigarette and decides to smoke it or else he’s going to pass out and drive into a tree or something. Then the sun comes up and fries him to a fucking crisp, because that’s what happens to vampires when they get caught in the sun